The Third letter, to an Ex-perience.

Well, Greetings, for whenever you're reading this.
 How are you? Still good?
Great. Great to hear that.
 How have you been sleeping lately? Is it as well as I used to sleep when you weren't even mine? Or is it as bad as it was when you actually were?
Well, It doesn't matter anymore, now. Does it?
I read this somewhere, probably some post on Instagram, that read:

"Sometimes people have a tough time sleeping at night, For that Sh*t requires peace"

I mean, Where is the lie?
Losing sleep over people is romanticized a great deal. I've seen those posts. But hey, Kudos! to "Love" that actually messes with your physical AND mental health, right?
Great.
ME? Don't even bother asking about me. I do not think that I could put it into words. Neither do I think that you would understand, even if I could. 
Where was all this? Your concern, I mean?
I'm not calling you fake. I'd rather call you real. real to the extent of making mistakes--That's what makes us human.
But, there's one thing for sure, and that is something that every person needs to understand, if they do not, yet,
and that is,
   No matter how hurt you are,
No matter how devastated you are,
No matter how unstable you are,
  -Doesn't give you a B*tch pass
to hurt any other individual.

Well, not even the person that hurt you.
(Excuse the millennial lingo.)
This isn't a letter, 
  More like an extract of my mind,
Oh-So messed up, Trying to tell you things I wish I would have when we were a thing.
But now, we're not, and that's what hurts.
What hurts the most is not the fact that I didn't know love before I was yours.
What hurts the most is not the fact that I lost you and now it's all empty.
Neither is the fact That I will have to scrap the future I saw with you,
 But, Oh Dear, How do I say this?
What hurts the most is--
--That now, I am okay, without you.
There's lesser stress or pain than there was when I was yours,
The fact that maybe the only thing I miss is the pain that I went through, oh so frequently when we were a "thing".
The pain that was there to remind me, that the slightest bit of compassion and sympathy you did show was all I deserved-- But I didn't.
Hence, The only thing that hurts the most is that, 
 It wasn't Love.
And you knew that.
It Wasn't Love at all.
I do not know what it was, though-- For If I knew, I'd advocate.
Advocate against this feeling that acts as self-sabotage.
This thing-- Whatever we had,
made me question my self, which it shouldn't have.

So, Lastly,
I'd Like to thank you.
Thank you for Cheating on me.
Yes, Thank you for all the pain and everything I felt in the time we spent, together. (I wouldn't call it a waste, for I do not regret anything. Neither you nor us.)
Thank you for showing me, that the next time I feel this way, I must withdraw, to save myself from shattering.
You worked wonders, Like anti-biotics.
Maybe the only downside is, that I went numb after--
But we all make mistakes, right?

But I wouldn't even call you that.
So thank You so much,
I'm sorry, not sorry.
I hope to never know you again,
--What was your name again? --nevermind.
I hope I never come across an occasion to address you.
I'm Done.
Not with you, But with Everything to do with you.